Ma’am, as you can see we are short one. Linda Gavin has a crucial piece of evidence for our case and has assured us she is on her way. Sorry for the inconvenience.

FAYE MORGAN, Dean of Mean- er, Discipline. She shakes her head at the girls with a disgusted look. But don’t let that fool you. Dean Morgan’s having a very good day.

..........DEAN MORGAN

No inconvenience to us at all. You were the ones who called this Hearing. We’ll simply start without her.

..........ELLEN

As long as we can present this important piece of evidence--

..........DEAN MORGAN

Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
.....(to the deans)
If I may bring everyone here up to speed. Yesterday, these four students- well, four minus one for now- were expelled from this university. Fellow deans, I do not want to drag this hearing out. Frankly I find it unnecessary, but I realize it is any former student’s right to call an assembly of the deans, if they feel they met wrongful expulsion. I will simply defend my actions by stating the facts, straight from their arrest records. I will start with the absentee.

She puts on her glasses and reads from a document.

..........DEAN MORGAN

Linda Gavin. Phys Ed Major, 3.0 g-p-a. Star of the women’s softball team, lacrosse team, tennis team, fencing team, the list goes on. Arrested by campus security for: possession of pornographic equipment. Anyone care to speak on Linda’s behalf?

..........ELLEN

They found a closet full of dildos in her bedroom, ma'am.

The board of deans shifts uncomfortably. Morgan moves on.

..........DEAN MORGAN

Bryn Clanton, majoring in Elementary Education. Apparently, you want to teach kindergarten someday, Ms. Clanton?
.....(off Bryn’s silence)
Mmhmm. Bryn Clanton, arrested for soliciting sex within the student body.

..........COLLEGE DEAN

YOU paid for sex?

..........BRYN

No comment.

..........DEAN MORGAN

Ellen Lance. Pharmacy Major, three-point-five g-p-a. I believe you were going to run the family drug store with your degree, yes?
.....(Off Ellen’s nod)
Arrested for: incest-at-large?

..........ELLEN

That’s correct, ma’am. My stepbrother and I were caught having sex at the big basketball game.
.....(turning to the crowd)
And I would like to congratulate the Rams on their victory.

NERVOUS TITTERS, AHEMS, COUGHS...

..........DEAN MORGAN

All right, let’s just stick to the facts.
.....(to Wendy)
Wendy Percival. Pre-Med. 4.0 grade point average. You would be graduating cum laude if you simply showed up for all your finals, correct?
.....(off Wendy’s nod)
Arrested for: premeditated public acts of heinous perversion.

..........WENDY

It was not technically public. I was on private property at the time.

..........DEAN MORGAN
.....(POUNDING the table)

SOMEONE ELSE’S PRIVATE PROPERTY!

Silence. Dean Morgan takes a big gulp of water, recomposing.

..........DEAN MORGAN (CONT'D)

Sorry about that.
.....(to the deans)
Fellow Deans.
.....(to the spectators)
Members of the student body.
.....(to all)
You’ve heard the facts which none of these students can deny. And with my stellar reputation as this University’s Dean of Discipline on the line, I am asking you to stand by my decision to expel them all with extreme prejudice. Thank you.

Dean Morgan and THE COLLEGE DEAN exchange a Secret Brotherhood of Deans nod and she takes her seat.

..........COLLEGE DEAN
.....(to the girls)

Well, that was pretty cut-and-dried. Now this evidence you spoke of--?

Ellen is frantically typing out a text message on her phone.

EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - THAT VERY MOMENT
Linda is sitting amongst jammed traffic, waiting for a train to go by. The row of railcars seems endless. She’s going to be here a while. Her phone BEEPS. She reads Ellen’s message and types something back.

INT. U.R.I., ADMISSIONS BUILDING, CONFERENCE ROOM
Ellen sees the message come in.

"LINDA: held up big time - stall them!!!!"